sweatin the small stuff

It’s early in the morning and I can’t think of a single thing to write about so I’m just gonna meander here a bit. Ooh, how bout a short list of things? That’s always fun for a time killer.

Let’s start with things that have for lack of a better term, fucked me up.

• Sitting on the bow of a sixteen foot fishing boat as it blasted thru the Gulf of Mexico in rough seas piloted by some cat named Captain Charley.

• Carrying a full size refrigerator up two flights of stairs by myself and halfway up realizing that this had to rank as one of my more stupider ideas. Yeah, that wrinkled spot on the stairs isn’t the wood grain; it’s one of my balls.

• Wearing pantyhose, and only because I enjoyed it so much. I had a female friend who was going thru a severe funk and I had to think of something to snap her out of it.

So I walked into her house wearing pink pantyhose which seemed to do the trick. But oddly enough I found myself reluctant to take em off so I kept them on until late that evening. Both snug and slimming at the same time.

• Stepping out of a car in the middle of Fayetteville, Arkansas for the first time. It was the middle of summer and I actually fell to my fuckin knees due to the very unique odor in the air.

This old man that happened to be walking past commented on my condition. “It’s the paper processing plant on the edge of town, stick around a few years and you’ll get used to it.” I’m just saying that the smell actually made me fear for my life, it was so fuckin bad.

• Playing drums in a bar one night and having to stop because I had a moment. We’re playing the blues and suddenly I was overcome by this feeling of happiness that I’ve never felt before.

I started giggling and that turned into full blown laughter and next thing I knew tears were rolling down my face. I think for that one moment I was the happiest I’d ever been in my life and it just all came out.

• Finding myself standing one day in front of a very important person who had the power to affect my life. He told me what he thought of me and how things would be and that I better learn to like the idea of being his bitch if I ever wanted to make it.

I stood there with my head down thinking things over only to raise my head, look him in the eye and go “fuck you” as I walked away. Eh, it could’ve gone better.

"and the monkey flipped the switch"